Thursday, November

Thursday, November

Through out the course of Mr. Darcy’s and my acquaintance I have despised him more than imaginable. We have constantly bickered and exposed the hateful people we can be. At one point I kicked Mr. Darcy and my kick landed square on his shoulder sending him forcefully into the mantle shattering its edge. You may wonder what brought upon this act of such furry but I tell you I have a respectable reason. Mr. Darcy had driven me to my last end; he had insulted me, and been rude to my family. At that time I actively believed that if he was to fall off this world I would not be aware of his absence. I never wanted to see his face, hear his voice, or hear of him in a conversation again.

But my mind has been drastically changed. After I had kicked him in to the mantle I could not escape from thinking of our encounter, Mr. Darcy face was engraved in my memory. As I was pondering this while walking in the park he approached me with a letter, after reading it I was speechless. In this letter he explained his reasoning for the insults and though I am the last thing from gullible, I understood his reasoning. In fact his cruelness was in pure regard of himself and the ones he loved. Contemplating the contents of the letter left me realizing that would most certainly have done the same for my beloved ones. I saw Mr. Darcy in a new light from what I had believed. He was the man I had always hoped for.

Then I realized that I had made possibly the most drastic mistake of my life I had pushed the one that I had fallen for away. I had never been so ashamed of myself, “I had been blind, partial, prejudice, absurd.” (pg.165) “ I who have prided myself on my discernment! Who have often valued myself on mind and body!” (Pg. 165) I am humiliated at this discovery.” How can I ever show my face in his presence again, he must greatly despise me? Now I can only hope for the forgivingness that I know he has to shine through and to accept me, for I will never forget this tragedy, until I die.